A Paralyzed Bird Goes To The WyOGA Banquet

Welllll, this weekend was a flop. So let’s just start at the beginning, shall we?!

Friday, a huge spring storm hit. What the heck is a spring storm, you might ask. Well, here in Wyoming, we get snow all Winter… and all Spring. (Those jokes you’ve heard about the seasons in Wyoming: Winter, Summer, Winter, and Still Winter…. yeah. Those are true.) But in the “Spring”, the snow weighs about 10 times as much as it does in the Winter. It is the sloppiest, wettest snow you could imagine. This of course, makes the power go out.

You think power outage and you think, what? An hour? Maybe two? Oh no. Over 9 hours before it came back on. Multiple towns were without power because apparently over 20 power poles came down.

I suppose I really can’t complain, because our friend lost power for two entire days. But it’s my blog, and I’ll do what I want. So one would think 9 hours without power isn’t really that bad. But let’s just take a minute to bask in the glory of a house that is ran entirely on electric.

Ahhhh. No water, no power, no heat. In a snow storm. Nice and cozy.

As it was getting closer to dark, we started making plans to borrow a generator and consolidate all of our food and my neighbor’s food into one freezer. Luckily, we procrastinated as long as possible, and right when we were about to give in, the power came back on. Woo! Praise Jesus.

On Saturday, we were supposed to go to the WyOGA awards banquet.

Exhibit A

Due to the fact that the man is a lion hunter extraordinaire, he won a big game award for the 4th year in a row. We will come back to this. Before we can proceed, you need a little background information.

About a week ago, I was taking a riding lesson on ol’ D-Little, and she had a teeeeensy tiny tantrum. And by teeeeeensy tiny, I mean she had a complete and total meltdown. Insert ten minutes of her rearing, racing backwards, and smashing into things. Because that, apparently, is what we do when the technicality of the jumping gets harder. We panic. And we throw a fit. And we do everything except listen and use logic.

During her tantrum, she reared, I leaned forward, and she hit my head with her neck, which resulted in a very stiff necked, whip-lashed Shallary.

So I’m getting ready for the banquet, and decide to maybe actually shower and blow dry my hair for a change. Perhaps I should not reek like horse manure for one night of our lives. So I’m stiff necked, and I’m drying my hair… and I COMPLETELY PARALYZE MYSELF.

NO, REALLY. I have never felt pain like this before in my life! This is coming from someone that was once launched so hard off her horse and into a jump standard (read: 4×4) that I broke it with my tailbone. Yeah…. I didn’t break my tailbone. I broke the standard.

Okay, so I’m paralyzed. I thought I slipped a disc or vertebrae in my neck, and all of my muscles were seizing so hard I almost peed my pants. Like 20 times. In the first 3 minutes. I couldn’t turn my head even a fraction of an inch without my eyeballs leaking profusely. So I’m having a panic attack and bawling my eyes out (because what else is a kid supposed to do at a time like that?!) The problem was, that the bawling was creating an alarming amount of snot to accumulate, and I never knew this before, but apparently when you sniff your nose, you tighten every. last. neck muscle. Which of course caused more searing pain and crying. So now I’m drenched in sweat (so much for that shower), my eyes are the same size and puffiness of marshmallows (so much for looking attractive for once), I can’t move the upper half of my body, and we are clearly going to be very, very late to Marshall’s big banquet.

I couldn’t sit. I couldn’t kneel. Nothing I did was comfortable. Finally the man came home to my rescue. He helped me lay down on the kitchen floor by holding the weight of my head for me. It honestly felt like my head was too heavy for my neck. I didn’t even know that was a thing.

M tucked a towel and heat pack under my neck, even though I was wincing and yelping like an abused animal. Then, like a baby bird, I lay there paralyzed and helpless, with my mouth gaping open, and he dropped in a sizable amount of ibuprofen. 

Remember how I had just showered when this happened? Well I hadn’t gotten fully dressed yet… So here I am. Laying on the kitchen floor. In a shirt. Just a shirt. No pants. And suddenly I’m freezing. So M covers me with a blankey and let’s me hang out to “relax” and ponder the itchy texture of the kitchen rug on my bare butt for three hours.

THREE HOURS!!

You can do a lot of pondering in three hours.

Anyways, I was just starting to be able to use my arms and move my legs without my muscles seizing too much. We decided if we were going to go, we better hit the road. So Marshall rolled me on my side, and put some pants and socks on me. Then we tipped me upright, stuffed me and my bag in the truck, and away we went!

Insert a 3 hour drive across the state. We had almost made it to Jackson, and looky what we found!!

Grizzly Bears!!!
My first ever “bears in the wild”!

We stopped long enough to snap a few pics and raced off to the banquet. We got there well past happy hour, and a half hour past dinner. But we made it in plenty of time for the boys to get their awards. And now, for your viewing pleasure, the boys giving speeches while their hearts pound out of their chests.

Dr. Dan the man, DDS. He said his hunt was all about the hounds. He was right. The dogs are the best part of our adventures.

Dan got this fantastic cat, with the help of Marshall and his doglets. It was the largest guided cat in the state last season. There were some pretty impressive big game animals taken, so for these guys to get this award and be one of the few to get recognition, made me one proud, paralyzed Shallary.

14 12/16″… That’s one big kitty.

All of the results and pictures are posted on the WyOGA website. Go check out some of those monsters! http://www.wyoga.org/wyoga-big-game-awards.php